Like Noah’s Ark

Hi, Sis. How are you doing?

OKAY, ENOUGH ABOUT YOU….

I am living with 10 other women in a two-story boarding

Transom light (often in U.S., just “transom”)

house built in 1927 for TB patients. This house has it all (sans TB) – a full basement, hardwood floors, high ceilings, big windows (all fairly common in Tucson’s early years but rare since WWII) – even transoms (technically transom lights or fanlights; architecturally speaking, a transom is a horizontal crosspiece, often above a door; the transom light is the window above it)! I adore transoms.

LIFE AT THE NO-ROOM-AT-THE INN

I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR an inexpensive apartment when I stumbled onto this “Program” that seems almost to have been custom-designed for me. I pay $250 a month, period, for which I get not only a very nice room (all utilities, WiFi, other stuff) but also a Mentor. She works with me on “Success Planning,” Financial Education, Financial Capacity-Building, and optional Home-Ownership Planning. I’m required to develop a profitable project and to make regular contributions to a savings account.

Plus I have to keep my room clean.

The cats  (below) don’t live here, though you’d never know it by the way they are fussed over and lavishly fed. They’re feral. Mama is a slut and a baby machine. (See photo caption for update.)

Since this photo was taken in mid-September (on our back patio), one baby disappeared. The other four thrived until a dear neighbor rounded them up and took them to a no-kill facility with a good record for placing healthy kittens at a small profit. Now it’s Mama’s turn. We’ll have to pay $45 to have her released to us.

THE ODDBALL

I MOVED IN THREE WEEKS AGO [September 17, 2012] and was comfortable from Day 1.

It would be hard to find a more diverse group. There are two of everything, kind of like on Noah’s Ark: 2 lesbians, 2 African Americans, 2 Mexicans, 2 Native Americans, 2 parolees, and an unpaired Russian. I am the token “None of the Above.”

West University Neighborhood 5-bedroom bungalow

For lovers of old architecture, this is the best neighborhood in Tucson – the West University Neighborhood Historic District. I was surprised that the area hadn’t long ago become a collection of university annexes and student apartments. Googling the WUNHD turned up several versions of the neighborhood plan, according to which the neighborhood association moved quickly (and successfully) in the 1970s to prevent U of A expansion, then went on to seek and receive favorable zoning restrictions.

There are a few sorority or fraternity houses, and a few high-end rentals, but for the most part the neighborhood consists of single-family houses in the $300,000-to-$500,000 range.

West University Neighborhood single-family house

The curious thing is that many of the alleys are actually crisscrossing, semi-hidden, unpaved streets lined with small houses. At first I thought the houses might actually be converted guest houses, but, no, they’re too large and too substantial. They’re not later additions, either… same age as the rest of the neighborhood.

So when we go outside to smoke on the back porch (I with my E-cigarette), we’re looking across the alley at the front porch and front door of a smallish house… which actually sits on the corner of a pair of crisscrossing alleys. Very odd arrangement.

[NOTE: I finally found a bit of info about these secluded little houses; see caption.]

This is one square block. The intersecting street, “N. Bean Ave.” (enhanced in this image), is actually a humble alley. The “alley houses” (circled in red) are single-family dwellings evidently built three to five years earlier (as “servants’ quarters or as rentals for tuberculosis patients or university students”) than the larger houses facing the street. Our house (labeled “A,” built in 1927), was originally a sanatorium.

It’s been too hot to do much walking, but today I had to mail a package so I went as far as the U of A Main Gate, about six blocks east of here. The retail area adjacent to the campus is much cleaner and livelier than it was when I worked a few blocks from here, in the 1990s. There are a Marriott, a post office, several boutiques and specialty shops, and loads of pubs, diners, bar-and-grills, etc., most of which are locally owned, at least as far as I can tell.

That’s all for now. Miss you lots & hope to see you soon….

Our West University Historic Neighborhood house

Dear Family—

EXCELLENT DAY TODAY

Most are,  lately. Have been using E-cigarette pretty much exclusively for 2 months. The research is thin, but most has found E-cigarette safer than smoking — “up to 1,000 times safer” according to one study — an odd statistic…. E-cigs, by the way, don’t stain your teeth.

One does not smoke E-cigarettes, one “vapes” them. Sounds evil, but they come in flavors such as cherry rather than, say, salamander or Type AB Negative. At first it was tempting to “vape” constantly, because you, like, can, plus there are really no side effects… no coughing or nausea, as you’d have if you smoked constantly… but (a) the pleasure wears off, and (b) the cost adds up. Now I’ve found my rhythm and I’m saving $$.

…THIS IS A FUN AND FASCINATING GROUP OF WOMEN. In the interest of full disclosure, I must confide that the phrase “group of women” is a bit misleading. Christy [names herein are being invented on the spot] technically doesn’t qualify, not just because of the deep voice, the height and carriage, and the bristly chin. It’s the crotchial architecture that finally tipped me off.

Some people might consider discretion the better part of valor, but I consider discretion boring and unproductive. Catching Christy smoking solo on the patio, I made a cursory apology for being slow-witted, farsighted, and tactless, adding that since our program is called “Women in Transition” I had assumed blah blah and so forth but had only just that day observed that her gender was less straightforward than I had thought, and I asked if she were planning to have surgery. She replied with no embarrassment whatever that the procedure had been scheduled years ago (she’s 52) but that her partner’s death had been a crushing loss both emotionally and financially and she’d been unable to proceed with the operation. I asked and she answered a few more intrusive questions, and we went on to talk about old movies.

I should mention that Christy is adored here. She is soft-spoken, kindhearted, exceedingly bright, a terrific cook, generous, and principled. She spent an afternoon decorating the front hallway and porch with Halloween lights, spider webs, and black widows. She feeds the cats and any hungry-looking humans who wander into the kitchen while she’s cooking.

It would be in poor taste, I suppose, to offer grooming tips. Christy is forever experimenting with makeup, and the effect is kind of funny and kind of sweet, especially in the late afternoon, when 5 o’clock shadow is evident. And maybe, for someone who’s been on the planet for half a century, she’s a mite heavy-handed with her eye shadow. But underneath it all, so to speak, she’s comfortable in her skin.  She’s working toward a degree in graphic design, and she puts money aside regularly toward a down payment on a house. Anatomical technicalities notwithstanding, Christy is more contented than three-fourths of the people I know.

The house next door, east

THESE ARE WOMEN who, for whatever reason, have asked for and received do-overs… are in their 40s or 50s, many working earnestly toward a degree… two (one Russian, one Mexican) are learning English so as to qualify for better jobs… two are trying to establish good employment records after imprisonment for drug-related felonies… one was basically a prisoner for years in an abusive marriage… one is a drama major who lost her scholarship because, at age 52, she had to have hip-replacement surgery…. Everyone has a different story, of course, but all are talented, intelligent, and generous….

EBAY BARGAIN: 5-piece women’s cute, chic, casual mini-wardrobe, size M Medium (Danskin knit pants, skort, two boatneck wide-stripe tunic tops, V-neck wide-stripe sweater): BUY IT NOW only $7.83 + $14.99 shipping

Hi, Sweetie—

FOR MY MEMOIR?

NOT SURE THERE’S ENOUGH DRAMA for memoir material. The women here live from day to day with the hope that most of the drama is behind them. Candace — age 50, energetic, studious, sincerely pious, kind, gregarious — has been here longest, about two years… and just found out she has stage 1 cirrhosis… is already being treated for hepatitis C.

3-PC OUTFIT + BRACELET: ANN TAYLOR LOFT PANTS-BOXY SWEATER, TUNIC, size M… Buy It Now $5.86 + shipping on eBay

Candace served 5+ years in prison. It’s been a decade, I’m thinking, since she used alcohol or nonprescription drugs. Her parents aren’t living, but she has a sister she’s close to; her (grown) kids are hellions who were taken from Candace and raised by their dad’s relatives. Candace’s biggest challenges are her math class and her mama-guilt. She doesn’t dwell on the past, though, and hopes the felony conviction won’t stand in the way of her goal (founding and operating a prison ministry).

Difficult to imagine all this in her, at least outwardly, because she looks younger than her years and she has a lot of vitality. There’s another chronically ill resident — Marjorie, a Navajo nearing 60 — who goes to the hospital for dialysis three times a week (the legacy of heavy drinking during her second marriage). She spends a lot of time with her married daughter, pregnant and the mother of a two-year-old cutie pie. Marjorie’s first husband was murdered in a drug fiasco. She’s amazingly cheerful considering horrific episodes in her past and the sheer inconvenience of her day-to-day life….

A couple of the other women were married to extreme macho types and are just rebuilding their self-respect a day at a time. There are two or three residents I don’t know well because they work nights and sleep days. We’re not a formal unit — we have house meetings every two weeks only for the purpose of discussing things like there’s a loose bearing in the clothes dryer. Mutual support is voluntary, situational, as might occur in any group residence.

eBay PJ deal: 3 SLEEP SETS SIZE M-L: VICTORIA’S SECRET, OLD NAVY, SLEEP SENSE, mostly cotton, only $4.99 + shipping!

Candace and Marjorie know more than average about each person’s “story” … Candace because she’s kind and easy to talk to, Marjorie because she’s nosy. My particular pal (Toni, who reminds me a little of Jake) is another ex-felon. She’s 40 and exudes so much male energy (more, even, than Christy) that I literally forget she’s a woman half the time….

EBAY 4 MEN’S SHIRTS SIZE SMALL 100% COTTON (2) LS FLANNEL (1) LS COTTON (1) SS GOLF $2.99 + ship

Later this month I’ll start teaching meditation to all who are interested.  Most will participate because of unanimous affection and respect for our house manager (my mentor, Cassie), who handles her responsibilities more by intuition than by rules and regs. Turns out she is two days older than I am; we had a double birthday celebration here on Saturday, October 20.

J JILL JEAN SKIRT, EDDIE BAUER CHAMBRAY SHORTS + 3 TOPS SIZE M SHADES OF BLUE … Buy It Now $4.99 + Ship

WRITING INTELLIGENCE

The potentially profitable project I’m working on most actively is a revised version of a business-writer’s manual I did several years ago, emphasizing clarity versus jargon in writing and public speaking. Recent research I’ve done indicates that the biggest problem in what I refer to as “communication with a public audience” (any form of public speaking, business writing, journalism, etc.) goes beyond lack of clarity to subtle antagonism, a puerile show of power, with ramifications at every level and in every sector of society. My book addresses writing as a form of personal interaction to which the principles of “social intelligence” (as set forth in Daniel Goleman’s book by that title) should apply.

Of particular concern to me are memes that slide into public consciousness due to the growing incidence of “sweeping generalizations” in journalism, and the increasing disregard for other journalism standards…. More on this when I’ve made some progress….

* * *

AND TO ALL READERS: MAY WHOEVER IS ON DUTY bless you abundantly… even if you have no interest in my eBay offerings… regarding which, might you reconsider?

Bold Endeavor

ADD-afflicted individual insanely schedules (a) Move, (b) Doctor Appointment I, and (c) Doctor (non-)Appointment II for same day, using fuel-deficient monster pickup truck w/ V8 engine and sweet disposition

It worked… but only because of the kindness of strangers and friends…

The sainted Kara and the strong and brave Eddie did most of the loading Sunday morning, while Rip and I played “Let’s Look Busy,” acting out little surges of activity whenever someone looked our way. The trick here is to seem to be in the middle of whatever you’re doing, even if it’s picking your nose. All your movements, your stance, your attitudes, including the interest and concentration, or lack thereof, reflected on your face… all must be smooth and seamless. It requires a great deal of focus and attention. It would be much easier, in fact, to actually do the work you’re pretending to do. We’ll discuss the pros and cons of this approach in another post.

Made mental note to purchase 1 or more Major Caribbean Islands (exclusive of Cuba) for Kara and J.C., Personal Aircraft Fleet for Eddie, Rip, and family….

Stayed at Eddie’s until Monday morning. Did not sleep — must have overdone the pretend-pomegranate juice at Abby’s T Party.

Drove truck to Dr. Appt. I — abso essential because out of Adderall — then back to Catalina for Dr. (Non-)Appt. II.

Hmmm. $5 seems to have been insufficient gasoline purchase for 32-mile round trip.

At gas station on Golder Ranch, squeezed last driblets out of 2 debit cards: Credit Union, 52 cents; PayPal, 33 cents. Hmmm. Will this get me home? Doubtful….

Great joy and embarrassingly conspicuous gratitude to 3 angels 

Sunbeam space heater, about $18 including shipping — lowest price on eBay

Waited c. 90 minutes to see doc. She prescribed higher-dose patch, fewer tabs, all good… the Universe’s way of lulling me into complacency, which is to say, messing with me in preparation for disastrous attempt to start and operate truck in which there is no gasoline. Battery sounded good, though.

After much nonproductive arguing with reality, I trudged up the hill to Catalina. Spoke with a few regretful or apathetic strangers before finding Angel from Heaven “Deb” of Deb’s Flowers, who bought for me a gas can, which I then proceeded to fill with gasoline using $$ supplied by Angel from Heaven “Tracy” of Dr. H’s office. Trudged back to truck, only to be foiled by complex, engineering-degree- requiring gas-can apparatus, which was in the fullness of time configured by Angel from Heaven “Troy,” a stranger who had the misfortune of crossing my path while I was cursing at gas can.

With a little under $5 in gasoline, made it into and out of Walgreen’s and on to new home without incident. Cheered by completion of arduous tasks that had loomed large that a.m. after night of no sleep, was not even intimidated by stacks, towers, and seas of boxes, bags, etc., to be unpacked and put away. What is all this shit?!

High Plains Traveler

Concepts for Pal’s Rehab

I AM EAGER TO BE ON THE ROAD.I long to put the finishing touches on the repaired and refurbished Pal… to turn the key and hear his motor purr…. All this not just because I yearn to travel or because I can’t wait to start showing off… but more and mostly because there is a too-serious 17-year-old girl in Tyler, Texas, who needs to learn from me that it’s not only acceptable but essential to love oneself first instead of practicing a painful and unnatural self-abnegation so extreme that the very wanting of anything is censored before it comes fully into consciousness.

Pale yellow linen-weave cotton pants, NEW, today only $13 including shipping

And because there are men in Kansas and women in Kentucky and adolescents in West Virginia whose lives will become sweeter and more cherished almost instantaneously when I tell them in poetry and when I sing to them about Following Their Bliss, which leads unerringly to (a) the joyous exercise of their talents, and (b) the generous expression of charity, service, and benevolence.

This isn’t playing God. It’s just doing the next lovely thing that presents itself. One of the lovely things in progress for me right now is eBay-ing, which serves the dual purpose of getting my goods into circulation and raising funds for the rehabilitation of Pal. Body

J Jill size M 100% linen tunic, offbeat asymmetrical design, today only on eBay $14 including shipping

oxidation and crumpled camper (right front section) notwithstanding, Pal is a diamond in the rough whose time has almost come.

Surprisingly, it required a small push of courage for me to introduce myself on Doreen Virtue’s Official Fan Page and to request kind thoughts and moral support. It ought to have been easy, inasmuch as the angels probably guided me to go to the page and make the request. Whatever the case, I am exceedingly grateful to Dianne Haas for her response and to Doreen Virtue for creating and nurturing her Facebook community.

Pal’s Interior: BEFORE

(You can see all of Pal’s “Before” images in the Facebook Annagrammatica Pal photo gallery.)

The mystical grace of kind thoughts and warm wishes is meat and drink right now for me, Pal, and Annagrammatica on the Road. From my heart, I send you love as well… and may Whoever Is On Duty bless you and your endeavors. —Mary

 

Good for Me

I Am Beautiful and Everybody Loves Me

Evidently I am progressing into a new, winged phase of my life. Not sprouting feathers, exactly… no, the change is actually more entomological than avian.

Do you know what happens to the caterpillar transitioning from sluggish, scaly, wormlike creeper to bright, free, elegant, pirouetting butterfly? Having knit itself inside a protective casing — the cocoon — the homely little insect then proceeds, basically, to melt. Strange but true; “the caterpillar begins releasing enzymes that literally digest nearly all of its own body.  What’s left inside the chrysalis is mostly just a very nutrient rich soup from which the butterfly will begin to form.”*

Out of the ooze of the onetime caterpillar gradually emerge wings, antennae, legs, eyes, and other equipment suited to a life of flitting from blossom to bud on a bucolic hillside in midsummer, now and then lighting on a thistle or a knot of grapevine to pose for photographs.

There’s a late-stage-caterpillar, early-stage-butterfly quality to my life these days: It’s dark, it’s stuffy, I’m melting, and I’m never quite sure where I am. I begin to fear that I will never progress past the goo phase. Now and then I put aside my copy of What to Expect When You’re Metamorphosing and check on my progress, like someone working on a tan. My vision is hazy, but I feel like a scrambled egg-to-be — de-shelled, dropped into a pan, indifferently stirred, and forgotten.

Sometimes I sense that I am actively bubbling. My spirits soar. More often, though, I suspect that the stove is on the fritz. Maybe there’s been a power outage. At such times, I become as sad as my eggy emotions permit. My future looks rather bleak. In my mind, instead of cavorting among the poppies and coneflowers and acres of sweet clover, borne by my pretty new wings, I am slithering down the drain into the septic tank, where Friendly Enzymes will gnaw at me until my soul leaves my body, bound for the great Cistern in the Sky.

What is an inert, nearly raw scrambled egg supposed to do, exactly?

 

Safely airborne

A twice-daily fifteen-year meditation habit does not make one immune to depression, I have learned, but it does make the episodes comparatively short and benign. I’m not overwhelmed. I am cold and weary. On a bad day I feel lonely, powerless, and unnecessary. On an exceptionally bad day, I am agoraphobic. Practicing the Meditation of Not Being in a Plummeting Aircraft usually brings some relief, but I still manage to feel sorry for myself despite living in the U.S. rather than, say, Haiti, where everything that could possibly go wrong usually does, often all at once.

• Wasn’t I, after all, basically plucked up out of my sunny, high-ceilinged, oak-floored, utterly charming Victorian apartment in Omaha and set down in a travel trailer in Tucson, Dorothy-style except that instead of Toto I had luggage, consisting of a hastily packed (by someone other than me) suitcase full of socks?
• Is it not true that ninety-five percent of my possessions were clandestinely discarded after I’d been shipped off to Arizona? — not that there would be room for much of my stuff in the trailer, but I’m still spending more than half my social-security check every month replacing items such as office equipment (laminator, comb binder, paper cutter, computer peripherals and software), dishes and kitchen doodads, clothing, books, bedding, a watch, three pairs of eyeglasses, and so forth.
• Are not my trailer and my son’s house next door all but isolated from the civilized world? It’s at least two miles to the nearest anything — and I have, alas, no vehicle.
• Do I not have some annoying medical crap going on — a teeny-tiny cerebral aneurysm, which I’m not supposed to worry about, really, and a seriously damaged spine requiring palliation with hard-core narcotics? Worrying allowed re the spine….
• Don’t I sorely miss my Omaha friends and family, my neighborhood thrift store, my church, the halting rhythm that was my life?
• Didn’t my very best friend in Tucson turn me away in a time of confusion and loneliness? Wasn’t he so happy to see me that he bodily ejected me via his front door? To be fair, I don’t think he actually intended to bounce my head off the driveway, raising a golf-ball-size lump. What he meant to do was sever my head altogether and feed it to the coyotes.

On the other hand…

• I have Eli, Tracy, Ryder, and Adalyn, all just a few dozen steps away. They are delightful, and they love me, and deep down I know this to be a blessing that hugely outweighs all my complaints.
• I have, finally, a working computer that enables me to write, read, learn, and entertain myself. I have a yoga CD and, thanks to YouTube, I have mastered the Macarena, the rumba, and the Merengue.
• My trailer is cute, comfortable (the mattress, however, is lumpy), and cozy, lavishly decorated with houseplants, Chinese lanterns, and fairy lights.
• I have good friends in the area, people who are very dear to me but whom I see rarely or never because of transportation logistics and persistent melancholy.
• I have projects, plans, and ideas. So far I haven’t managed to sustain the energy for or the interest in them for any length of time, but they’re not going anywhere….
• And… for the first time ever… I have…

Affirmations

I’ve never been a proponent of “affirmations,” as touted and practiced by Louise Hay, founder of the publishing company Hay House and the author of You Can Heal Your Life (1984) and several other New Thought self-help books. This is a woman, bear in mind, who thanks her bed every morning for affording her a good night’s sleep.

I just couldn’t see the point of engaging in a candy-coated monologue during which I was supposed to insist upon… over and over and over … a proposition that was manifestly untrue. “I am beautiful and everybody loves me”? Oh, please.

On the other hand, having just turned 85, Louise Hay is a walking testimonial for the efficacy of positive affirmations, and she has made a convert of sensible, funny Cheryl Richardson, coauthor (with Hay) of You Can Create an Exceptional Life (2011) and the author of The Art of Extreme Self-Care (2009) and numerous other books for Hay House.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in a funk so deep and dark that I canceled my own birthday party. With nothing to lose, I put together a playlist of Louise Hay–inspired affirmations on YouTube and began listening to them in the evenings as I was falling asleep. Some of the affirmations are truly ludicrous, but others really did capture me — in particular, “I love and approve of myself exactly as I am.”

This assertion worked its way into my consciousness like an earthworm in newly turned topsoil. I realized, to my astonishment, that rather than loving and approving of myself I spent most of my time me-bashing: bewailing my failure to live up to my own expectations, mentally boxing my ears, considering myself unworthy of any effort on my behalf on the part of friends and family.

Happiness is free

(My framed affirmations are $4.95)

I’m obliged to say that, except for depression and anxiety around divorce, death, and a few other calamities, I am a happy person who has had (and will, I expect, continue to have) a deeply satisfying and productive life. But such happiness as I have enjoyed I considered myself to have “earned.” Loving myself unconditionally simply never occurred to me. Now it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. If only I could silence the stern Presbyterian in my psyche….

The affirmations shown herein will be offered for sale on eBay, with the exception of “I am beautiful and everybody loves me,” which (whether or not copyright-protected) belongs to Louise Hay. They’ll be shipped in four-by-six-inch “frameless” frames and will be priced at less than $5 each plus $4.95 shipping. (If you’re interested, drop me an email.)

With prayers for your physical and emotional well-being, achieved with or without the reciting of affirmations… Mary

______________

* TodayIFoundOut.com

Home, Sweet Home

Kind of Blue (vnwallpapers.net)

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Moving Right Along

The clusterf**k continues.

Topic 1: How much Adderall?

My doctor thinks I might not be taking enough Adderall. I’d love to hear from anyone who takes more than 40 mg. a day.

Topic 2: Abandoned by my peeps

Persons with A.D.D. come to rely on other individuals in situations, such as moving (don’t y’all say “moving house” in Britain?), that require sharp organizational skills. My particular peeps, in the moving-house arena, have always been my older son, “Ted,” and my sister, “Judy.” Well, Ted broke his damnable leg (tibia, I think?) the weekend before I was supposed to move. I mean, he broke the sucker, had to have surgery, a plate and two screws or something, and now they say he’ll set off the beeper when they do the airport-body-scan thing. He is ADHD-afflicted, though you’ll never hear him say so, but he’s a steamroller when it comes to moving. He develops superpowers and can maneuver desks, sofas, queen-size beds up two flights of stairs by himself, and then place them precisely where they belong.

In my dreams! (vnwallpapers.net)

My other rock, movingwise, my sister, Judy, was diagnosed about a year ago as having “early” Alzheimer’s. She has a tricky heart, too, which is congenital… a “coronary septal defect” was surgically, and successfully, repaired when she was about 16, but it’s been giving her problems over the last ten years or so. Judy has been a professional organizer forever. This is actually serving her well, because she’s used to writing everything down, except now she can’t find the notes she writes to herself. Ah! A kindred spirit.

Judy tires easily. She’s forgetful. She’s very cheerful. I love her to pieces and pray fervently and often for a cure or a miracle, either will do.

My daughter and her husband, my niece and her husband, and a dear friend and his son helped out when they could, as did a few other people from the church (in which I was living, as the caretaker). Even so, it took more than two months to remove all my stuff and get it here, to my new apartment.

Wow, I'd trade a kidney for that Art Deco toaster (vnwallpapers.net)

It was a four-phase move. After each phase, there were boxes piled everywhere… unlabeled, so I couldn’t find the can opener or the kitty treats. When one is in the throes of A.D.D., one looks at the chaos and it’s a blur, in this case, of brown cardboard. One doesn’t see individual, discrete boxes, one sees box-blob. There is no strategy, no plan… only a vague sense that things are out of place and always will be because nothing, absolutely nothing, can be done with them.

That’s not all hyperbole. I own more than a thousand books, and I need every single one of them. But there are no surfaces left, anywhere, for anything.

Topic 3: My eBaY store

We hauled seven or eight large boxes of books (in addition to the aforementioned) to the new place so that I can use them to start my eBaY bookstore. As I’ve mentioned, I’m going to start with only books, since eBay charges different fees for different types of merchandise, and if I stick to just one type I can more easily do the math. Another advantage of bookselling is that eBaY searches for the cover art and book data, so I don’t need to take photos or store them and I don’t need any of those sellers’ services.

I even know where the books are! They’re on the floor of one of my two closets, covered with coats. Wouldn’t want them to catch a chill.

May Whoever Is On Duty bless you and your endeavors. —Mary

Best Mother's Day cards and gifts ever!

Nontasking the ADHD Way

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Task Is a Stupid Word

It’s one of those words that people often write but never say. Have you ever been talking to a friend on the phone and all of a sudden she says, “Uh-oh! Look at the time! I have a million tasks to do, I’d better go”? Of course not.

See that urban snapshot above, using multiple exposures to make it look as if cars are whizzing by and everyone in the city is just busy, busy, busy? Well, I should have been moving like that tonight, because I too had a million tasks to do, but I did some nontasks instead. For example,

Barely Breezies Illusion Camisole Bra

• On eBaY, I bought this bra. You’re supposed to be able to wear it with low V-neck shirts and stuff, because it’s okay, at least in the opinion of the bra designer, for the lace in the middle to show. It took me a long time to decide to buy this bra, because it is not my size, it never was my size, and it never will be my size, but I wanted it, and it wasn’t very expensive. Even so, because I’m such a Careful Shopper, I had to come up with some really inventive rationalizations before I could justify spending the money.
• Uck! I cleaned out my coffeemaker, really well, and I just made coffee, and it tastes like Dawn.
  

  Dawn-dishwashing-liquid image superimposed on baby-seal image, to make it appear as if baby seals use Dawn, I guess. Why else?

• I added a link, and some information, to my website’s PRAYER page on the Liturgy of the Hours, or the Divine Office, which is “the official set of daily prayers prescribed by the Catholic Church to be recited at the canonical hours by the clergy, religious orders, and laity” (Wikipedia).
• I looked for free online alarm clocks that are preset for the Liturgy of the Hours — the times for (a) The Officium Lectionis or Office of Reading (formerly Matins), major hour; (b) Lauds or Morning Prayer, major hour; (c) Daytime Prayer, which can be one or all of Terce (Mid-Morning Prayer), Sext (Midday Prayer), and None (Mid-Afternoon Prayer); (d) Vespers or Evening Prayer, major hour; and (e) Compline or Night Prayer. (I did not find such a clock.)
• I searched for eBay store tips, found several, and then ran into a little snag after preparing the first tip.

J Jill pretty shirt gotta have it

HERE’S THE FIRST TIP

Item name (title): Be specific. If the brand name is popular, be sure to include it. Think of the keywords YOU would use to search for the item.

I’ve noticed that experienced sellers include synonyms for the item. For example,

J Jill White Cotton Pintucked Shirt Blouse Top S S NWT $89

I don’t know what “S S” means. “Small size?” Nah. Small something, though. NWT = New With Tags. $89 is the item’s original retail price.

HERE’S THE ‘LITTLE SNAG’

I really, really, really, really want this shirt.

I did a lot of heavy-duty rationalizing and I still can’t quite square it with myself. Part of the problem is that it’s, like, $23 with shipping and I don’t have that much money. Not even close.

The time I spent trying to figure out how to buy the shirt effectively ended any productivity for the evening.

May whoever is on duty bless you and your endeavors —Mary

♦

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Buying Frenzy

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The Twilight Series, by Stephenie Meyer

The Aesthetic Decline of eBaY

I’m working on a project that affords me a small temporary income, though I tend to forget the temporary part, and I am using some of this small, temporary income to purchase immediate necessities via eBaY, not having access to a car and not wanting to walk ten blocks (I don’t mind the walking so much, it’s the carrying home of heavy objects, uphill, that is off-putting).

Crystal deodorant

If one shops patiently, one can find drug-store items on eBaY and pay lower prices than one would pay at the local pharmacy. One might make allowances for the extra cost of delivery; in my case, I have no car payments or expenses for maintenance, repairs, or insurance, so I’m willing to pay a not-outrageous shipping premium. Most of the items I’ve bought, however, from deodorant (not that you asked, but I buy the crystal type) to Claritin (loratadine) to lactase (for lactose intolerance), have cost less, including shipping, than I would have paid at Walgreens.

HP ink cartridge

Next among necessities is printer cartridges. The problem with buying printer cartridges on eBaY is that, unless one uses them immediately, one might discover, weeks down the road, that either they are dried out or they are permeated with invisible ink, and one has already given positive feedback, and then what does one do?

Well, if one is moi, and A.D.D.-afflicted, one reads good book and forgets about ink cartridges for a while. I got hooked on the Twilight series and fell in love with Edward Cullen, the eternal seventeen-year-old. I bought the first two books in the series via eBaY auction and paid less than $10 each including shipping. I couldn’t wait for shipment of the final two books and bought PDFs instead, also via eBaY. These were presumably scanned, because there are glitches: The word I’ll is rendered HI on the scanned copies.

Clothes horse

TWILIGHT's Edward Cullen, portrayed by Robert Pattinson

I’ve also filled in a few holes in my wardrobe, again paying less than thrift-store prices for labels such as J Jill, Sacred Threads, and Fresh Produce (my three favorite clothing lines). It’s true that a $75 J Jill sweater is a bargain at $32, but I eschew such bargains; $15 is the most I’ll pay for item plus shipping, and I’m usually able to get the gorgeous blouse or the baggy pants, including the shipping, for $10 or less.

Where are all the pretty pictures?

What perplexes me is the decline in standards among the clothing listings. I’m used to seeing precise measurements and multiple photos. Even the sellers who use Auctiva, however, include one, maybe two, very poor images. The descriptions are sloppy, often not even including the type of fabric and its care — washable, dry clean only, et cetera.

It’s my guess that many eBaY-ers are opting for the $2.95 Auctiva package, but I wouldn’t be satisfied with so few photos (and so many of them are poor quality — a black shirt against a black background? please!) and such vague descriptions.

Fresh Produce sportswear

The research I’ve done indicates that I’m going to have to pay $9 or $10 per month to get decent templates and photo packages. Right now I’m leaning toward InkFrog, which seems to offer just about the right number of features for eBay listings — not too many, not too few. If I sign up before December 31, I’ll lock in the $9.95-per-month flat rate, WHICH INCLUDES IMAGE HOSTING.

InkFrog seems quite popular; the listings are good looking, there are thousands of templates to choose from, and I’m assuming it’s not terribly difficult to use, because there is usually quite an assortment of photos within the listing.

I’ll keep looking, though, and let you know if I find a better listing and image-hosting vendor… if you’ll do the same for me. Thanks!

…And may whoever is on duty bless you and your endeavors —Mary

♦

• First-rate résumés — quick, easy, economical — at resamazing.com
• Publish your “little book” in an easy little way
• Find unique, affordable cards, gifts, and books year-round at Zero Gravity’s Holiday Store. Gift certificates available
• Sample diverse blogs at Alpha Inventions, Condron.us

Thanks, Rob

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Auctiva Was Too Good to Be True

The moated manor house of Baddesley Clinton, Warwickshire, England

Gosh, you go away for a little while, and when you come back it’s like somebody smashed your toys.

I was reinstated on eBaY and looking forward to picking up where I had left off, storewise. But my store was no more. I sent a whiny e-mail to eBaY and received a very cordial e-mail back, but the message, if one were to read between the lines, was,

What is WRONG with you, Woman, that you think you can go for MONTHS without paying your eBaY fees and then SASHAY back in and expect us to have kept your store AS-IS on the remote (based on your payment record  hitherto) chance that you might actually dribble back in from La La Land and pay your LONG-overdue balance and resume selling through  your store, which, we don’t mind telling you, is a MEGA-losing proposition, but you have no way of knowing that because our fee policies are so CONVOLUTED that it’s nearly impossible to make a profit and if someone slips through a loophole, WE JUST CHANGE OUR FEE POLICIES.

When this exchange transpired, I had neither the time nor the inclination to rebuild my store from scratch; but then I remembered my fail-safe backup: Auctiva, wherein all my listings had been securely stored.

Not so fast, Gonzalez! Auctiva — which many preferred over eBaY’s own Turbo Lister because it (Auctiva) hosted your photos and automated your listing, PLUS you could include up to 24 photos per listing at no additional charge, and it was all free — Auctiva, in a heinous act of betrayal comparable to that in the movie Braveheart, the part where Mel Gibson, as William Wallace, had settled it with some of the other Scottish clans to support him and his rag-tag army against the impeccably outfitted English, and then it turns out that the English general has made a deal with the clans, which have shown up at the battlefield for the sole purpose of thumbing their noses at William Wallace and then sauntering off the battlefield and back to their castles because the English general has liberally bestowed upon them a lifetime supply of WD-40 so that they can  oil the hinges on their drawbridges and get them operational again, which is important because the moats that surround the castle are approximately ten feet wide and three feet deep and thus are an insuperable deterrent to attacks by the armies of their enemies, the English, unless, of course, the drawbridge is stuck on “DOWN” — Auctiva, in a measure every bit as appalling, has begun charging fees.

The REAL William Wallace

Oh, there’s still a free “tier” — you pay Auctiva nothing, you get, basically, nothing; and there’s a $2.95-per-month tier, allowing you to use Auctiva for up to fifteen listings. But to get what you got free as recently as a couple of months ago, you have to pay $9.95 per month.

And that means you have to factor $9.95 per month in with the eBaY listing fees and seller fees, which are conveniently laid out for you in a document that makes the U.S. Code look like a Little Golden Book.

The Poky Little Puppy, a Little Golden Book

I glanced at eBay’s list of approved partners to see if there might be a service comparable to the OLD Auctiva, the Glinda the Good Witch of the North Auctiva, as opposed to the Wicked Witch of the West Auctiva, flying monkeys and all. But those services all used words and phrases I didn’t understand, like platform and integrated solution, and it was clear that there was going to be a large learning curve, which I, as an Attention-Deficit-Disordered Individual, had no inclination to decipher.

None of this was stopping me from purchasing on eBaY like a maniac, and I noticed quite a few Auctiva listings that were stripped down and, I would have thought, an embarrassment to the seller and to Auctiva. Then I happened upon a listing that had been laid out on a very attractive template and that was photo-replete, and it was not an Auctiva-generated listing.

Thus it came about that I discovered RobsHelp home of FreeForm, serendipitously, and I discovered that it was, as suggested by its subtitle, free. I was greatly encouraged when I read the following:

FreeForm has been successfully supported by voluntary donations since 1999 because of its popularity, because it is not itself a hosting service (except for the templates you save within it and the free backgrounds), but mostly because it is completely independent of eBay and free of their transaction fees that would otherwise need to somehow be passed on to you.

From Flickr's home page

But, reading on, I found a fly in the FreeForm ointment. RobsHelp does not host your images. This is where I’m on shaky ground, because I haven’t attempted to embark on Rob’s learning curve, but, as I understand it, your photos have to be hosted somewhere (I don’t know why you can’t just store them on your own computer, as when you use Turbo Lister), and you can use any of the free online image-hosting services (such as, I’m assuming, Flickr), but that would involve a process that I would need to understand, whereas, if I used Rob’s affiliate, EAPH.com, I need pay only $8 month for hosting, and it would be more convenient than, e.g., Flickr. I think. See, Rob has one of those no-frills sites that rambles in English laced with the Geek patois, which I don’t understand, which I don’t want to understand, and which, if I did understand it, would probably be instructing me to insert HTML code before the <body> of the document, which cannot be found. These people are always wanting you to insert HTML in places that don’t exist, planting in your mind the evil impulse to insert HTML code in places where the sun don’t shine.

If I’m going to pay $8 per month anyway, I might be interested in The Seller Sourcebook, which, based upon my scanning the home page, is user-friendly and seamless with eBaY and costs — $8 per month.

But I still have to calculate the various eBaY fees along with the Seller Sourcebook monthly fee, should I choose that vehicle. Because eBaY listing fees and seller fees vary according to the type of item being sold, I think that I will begin with just one type of item: to wit, books.

To be continued….

P.S. …And may whoever is on duty bless you and your endeavors —Mary

♦

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• Publish your “little book” in an easy little way
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A Good Read

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A Little Gift for You

My, how time flies.

I think I will be able to resolve my financial deficit with eBaY today and thus reinstate my eBaY store.

Meanwhile, here is a little story about how attention-deficit-disordered persons can plan, for a change, even though their plans might not come to fruition. You can skip the introductory part, if you want, and go directly to “The Decade of Richard Gere.” Good reading!

May Whoever Is On Duty bless you and your endeavors.

• First-rate résumés — quick, easy, economical — at resamazing.com
• Publish your “little book” in an easy little way
• Find unique, affordable cards, gifts, and books year-round at Zero Gravity’s Holiday Store. Gift certificates available
• Sample diverse blogs at Alpha Inventions, Condron.us