Leaping Lizards, Soaring Angels
One of the more colorful days at the House – a sojourn back to junior high with echoes of “if you’re HER friend you can’t be MY friend.” I felt like Raggedy Ann in a tug of war between the only two feuding members of the household, who happen to be the two prison alums – T & C…. C popped out of prison 5 years ago straight into the arms of the uber-fundamentalists. T is butch and abrasive, never lets go of a grudge unless she spots a bigger, juicier morsel of food for resentment … runs out of grievances, stirs up a batch on the spot.
Has been pissy with me because, I don’t know, somebody dissed her and I didn’t leap to her defense, brandish a sword, whip out a switchblade… not sure of the protocol in these little family tiffs… not that I would have said or done anything one way or the other, but I’d like to know the vocabulary. Any time there’s tension in the air (rare when T’s here, nonexistent when she’s gone), I just disappear and work on my business-writing handbook, 2nd ed.
Wasn’t quick enough today. C sat me down for a heart-to-heart, for my own good. She wants me to understand that T’s distancing herself from me because my truck threw a belt and isn’t currently operable. C genuinely believes she’s protecting me and I need this protection because I’m so “sheltered”… must wake up to T’s evil ways…. T is probably (per C) using my truck to transport drugs and pushers. (T is built like a linebacker; there’s room in the truck for her and a box of Kleenex. She’s used the truck just twice for 10 min. — Walgreen’s trip.) I have much affection for both these women and feel no inclination to guide, coach, steer, or advise. I’ll happily instruct them in meditation, however.
Speaking of ADD/ADHD… Medicare is saying it won’t pay for more than 60 mg. per day of Adderall. Hmm. We’ll have to see….
At C’s request yesterday I did lend a hand with a writing assignment – her instructor asked her to “beef up” a few paragraphs, and I wrote three or four sentences as samples of what the instructor seems to want (as inferred from the assignment sheet). This morning I asked C if my help had been… helpful.
Here’s what she did: She kind of… SNIFFED. Really?! Sniff at MY sentences, will you, Ms. This-Is-Your-Brain-on-Drugs? I’m not ashamed to say I was MM — Momentarily Miffed. I might even have almost said something like, “Do you know who I AM?”
Then I went outside to light up my E-cigarette and espied one of the cats in the act of biting the head off a baby lizard. In my startlement I heard the Universe saying, “Mary, you’re not in Kansas any more,” an observation reinforced when I opened the dryer to take out C’s clothes and found Baby Lizard’s slightly larger and much toastier cousin’s carcass among the nicely fluffed towels.
I’m doing C’s laundry because she’s unwell; her brother died last Sunday and the funeral was Thursday in Missouri. She’s bummed because she couldn’t go; is completely stressed about school, about her brother’s death, about a dying friend for whom she has power of attorney, which at this point is draining her dry. The good news: She’s learning to meditate.
I went to the doc yesterday. I’m, you know, in the pink, proverbial horse, lab results aglow EXCEPT I’m vitamin D-deficient and taking prescription D including prednisone plus something (short-term). I didn’t think it was possible to have low vitamin-D levels in Arizona. I have a tan on my adenoids, geez!
I’m 75 percent sure that certain butterflies who come around now and again represent the whimsical spirits of Mom and Dad… just stopping by. The other night after dark I was sitting out on the back patio thinking about those dear souls and muttering something about butterfly season being over. Even in Arizona the pretty creatures don’t linger all year.
“How are you going to let me know you’re around now that it’s almost winter?” I said softly into the air, rocking a little from side to side to the beat of some song or other at the edges of awareness. Just as I listed right, in the space of sky that would otherwise have been behind a post, I was treated to the spectacle of a big, bright falling star. It almost seemed near enough to touch. Thanks, guys. Drop in any time….
…and may Whoever Is On Duty bless you and yours as the stars take command of the night sky, this and every night….