Blind Alleys and Dead Ends
My eBaY store is on hiatus due to my being unable to pay my fees. I get scary e-mails from eBaY and automated phone messages from someone at PayPal who sounds exactly like Nurse Ratched. Naturally, I delete them, since I have no income at the moment and no particularly promising prospects.
I enjoy playing bridge and chess, but, being an Attention-Deficit-Disordered individual, I’m not very skilled at either, since they require the ability to hold a range of possibilities and responses in the mind. I felt very proud of myself for having mastered the basics of eBaY and Auctiva, except I consistently forget the part about having to pay eBaY at the end of the month.
At the top is a chart showing all my ideas about procuring money immediately, along with the reasons none of them will work. They are all blind alleys and dead ends. I’m definitely not cut out for a life of crime. When I was growing up, we lived directly across the street from the school, but I had to go to either corner and cross where there was a crossing guard. Once, when I was 7 or 8, I was running late, and it was very cold, and I jaywalked. My heart pounded all day in fear of having been observed and reported by a crossing guard. (The crossing guards were 7th- and 8th-graders back then, and we called them the “safety patrol.” Most of them were pretty laid back, but a couple, at my particular corner, really liked to tattle.)
When I have a bit of money, I’m like an eating-disordered person looking in the mirror: I see much more than is really there. The New Thought people hypothesize, and I believe them, that some people attract abundance via their vibrations. If, for example, you believe that you don’t deserve the abundance, your vibration frequency will be low, and the abundance will notice it and be repelled and go off looking for someone to harmonize with whose vibrations are friendlier to abundance than to poverty.
Esther and Jerry Hicks and “Abraham,” in Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness, advise their followers to wallow in how you would feel if you had what you wanted — abundance, say, or the love of your life, or the job you’re perfectly suited for. I can carry this off until I open the refrigerator and see a couple of limp carrots and a soymilk carton that says, “Purchase before October 2, 2007.”
Attention-deficit-disordered persons spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between where they are now and where they want to be. If it’s a one-step process, they do pretty well. If there are unexpected obstacles or corners they can’t see around, they take a nap or read escapist literature. My escapist literature of choice, at the moment, is anything by Nora Roberts (or Nora Roberts writing as J. D. Robb), Diana Gabaldon (Outlander series, absolutely riveting), Jane Austen, or Philippa Gregory. In case you were thinking of sending me a present.
May Whoever Is On Duty bless you and your endeavors….